It takes two to create a conflict, but only one to stop it.

As in an argument, each side shares some responsibility for the debate.

Oftentimes these similarities will be beneficial, creating a kind of mutual understanding, compatibility, even a bond between them like when they both are highly athletic, or very socially outgoing, or love the outdoors, or are of a quiet and studious nature.

the conflict in adolescent dating relationships inventory-70

At a peaceful time, not when in conflict, the parent needs to describe how they go head to head in disagreement because they are so alike.

Then the parent can declare how he or she is going to work on changing the behaviors these controlling traits dictate in order to open up more effective avenues of working differences out and getting along. They are historically embedded beliefs that, after running out of reasons to defend them, a person still fervently supports.

As the adolescent pushes for more individuality and independence, there is usually more conflict from increased differences within the family system.

There is more conflict with parents (differences over freedom and responsibilities, for example), and with siblings (differences over competition or dominance, for example.) This is not a bad thing; it is a necessary thing.

To reduce the need for competition and attendant conflict between rival siblings, parents need to support compatibility where they can (ways the siblings can enjoy being together), they need to encourage differentiation where they can (ways each sibling can develop independent interests, associations, and identities from each other), and they need to create separate special times for each sibling with each parent (ways that both can have uncontested, non-comparative, individual contact time with each parent.) CONFLICTS ABOUT SIMILARITY.

It is very common for parents to notice psychological similarities between themselves and each child.Conflict is, after the all, the process through which people confront and resolve inevitable human differences between them.So conflict should not come as a surprise; it should be expected.Holding both parties responsible for the conflict, parents hold them separately accountable for their conduct in the conflict to ensure that the rule of safety is observed.When it is not, that party now has some business with parents to discuss.For example, with two teenagers sharing one TV, who gets to decide what they both will watch? For this reason, sometimes to avoid these conflicts, the parent can dictate how the cooperation is to be decided – how turns will be taken when deciding what TV program to watch, how the different housekeeping tasks will be assigned.