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You may not like the same TV shows – you’re all about reality competition shows and she’s mainlining the CW line-up – but if you’re both “stay in with Netflix and a pizza” types, you have far more long-term compatibility than two Game of Thrones fans who constantly argue because one of them loves to go backpacking in the Adirondacks and the other believes that “roughing it” means having to pay for the wifi at the resort.
Do you the two of you share the same sense of humor?
One of the trickier aspects of improving your dating life is that there’s always another level to master. And that’s where new and different problems come sneaking in.
It’s easy to assume that once you’ve made it past that initial hump – building a cool wardrobe, getting over your approach anxiety and generally learning how to connect with potential dates – that it’s all smooth sailing from there. One of the things I hear about regularly from my readers – both here and over at my column at Kotaku – are people who keep experiencing what’s known as “the fade away” or “ghosting”.
One of the reasons why people pull the fade is that they don’t feel any chemistry.
The situation becomes too ambiguous and hard to read and your date is left wondering whether you’re into her or not.
It sucks, but dating at it’s core is a number’s game.
You’re going to hit a few false-positives before you find someone you click with.
You might have fun in the short term, but in the long term, those clashing desires are going to end with someone getting hurt in the long-term.
Many people, especially those who’ve been down that road before, would rather pull the fade out early and spare everybody the heart-ache and passive-aggressive Facebook status updates.
This can often trump compatibility; after all, it doesn’t matter that the two of you get on like a house on fire if what you’re looking for in a relationship is diametrically opposed to what the other person wants.
Yeah, you’re great together, you make each other laugh and the two of you give off enough sparks to make it dangerous for you to visit gas stations together, but one of you is looking for a no-strings-attached, friends-with-benefits situation and the other is looking for someone to settle down with.
They make the mistake of trying to trade on the ambiguousness of the situation – a Schrödinger’s Date, where it is both platonic and sexual at the same time, so long as nobody actually tries to put a label on things and collapses the waveform.