Kerner finds his muse in postponement, quoting Thomas Wyatt, who (in another context assuredly) wrote, "Patience shall be all my song." The conclusion sends us forth with a little G. Shaw, via Kundera and Nietzsche, intoning, "When she comes first, she comes forever." This utopia of perpetually coming women sounds a little noisy to me, to be frank.

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My culture, in some vague and vestigial way, still considers cunnilingus a no-no, which makes performing it feel like a little transgression.

And transgression—I have this exclusively on others' word—is an excellent aphrodisiac.

"This book was written in the sincere hope that men will …

suffer less than I have." Giving head, in Kerner's world, is not an act of devotion; it's an expression of having healthily conquered one's own murky sexual terror.

It's going to feel like the latest dumb thing men do to prove their refinement, like drinking single-malt scotch or buying leather sofas for the apartment.

(There are even images of upscale fruit on the book's cover, representing the female genitalia.) You can't make a canon of things done with the tongue and chin, in the dark, between somebody's legs, after an office party. —the total dorks carrying it around might actually be revealing something touching about themselves and might attract mates who are touched by the whole ugly display. If there is to be a therapeutic benefit to Kerner's book, my guess is that it will accrue not to cunnilingus but to old-fashioned coitus.

"Try licking her the way Pollock painted," writes Dr.

Kerner, "broad strokes, with pinpoint targeted precision." The redeemed Dr.

" Please, Madam—have some "Scent and Sensibility." is a conversion-narrative in the Augustinian sense—the story of a self-awakening. Kerner started life as a premature ejaculator, he tells us, with all the self-control of a tube of toothpaste being run over by a Mack truck. "Karl Marx recognized that in order for words to become actions, the proper preconditions for success must be firmly in place," writes Kerner.

As in Augustine, self-discovery becomes a call not only to faith but to study: than strictly technical, to Balzac, Margaret Atwood, Freud, E. Even Aristotle—not primarily famous for his writings on cunnilingus—makes an appearance here.

Then all those Kerner-influenced cunnilingus-connoisseur guys will need to find some way to perform their favorite pastime on each other.