The first date is going to be the real measure for potential success in a relationship from my experience.Twenty emails and ten phone conversations aren’t as valuable as meeting once for half an hour.

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However, if you prefer to move to the phone before meeting or if you’re talking to someone who prefers that, I would recommend the following.

When I offer advice on the first date, I recommend lots of planning (see my post on first date conversations that I mentioned above).

These are not things you’re going to be able to do on a first date!

Because of the flexibility that phone conversations give you, I wouldn’t recommend going to overboard in preparing for the first phone call.

Also, because of this, I think it’s important to point out that just because the first phone conversation doesn’t seem to go well doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t meet the person.

Again, for me, preparing for the first phone call isn’t about preparing for the call.

It is MUCH harder to go from messaging to talking on the phone than from talking on the phone to a real meeting in person.

A quick note about the first date — Drinks or coffee is the perfect first in-person date for a number of reasons: That could result fewer first dates. Please share your experience with red flags and first conversations.

We’d be talking about some sporting event or family stuff but all I’d be thinking to myself over and over was, “After this conversation ends I’m going to ask her out….after the conversation ends I’m going to ask her out…after this conversation ends I’m going to ask her out…”.