I log on after an hour to check on my progress, 2 “Absolutely not”, 2 “No”, 3 “Beautiful” and 14 “Hmmm… I check my ranking 27 times, that’s once every 1 hour 12 minutes after accounting for sleep. The conversation is stunted and as the “Hi, how are yous” start trickling in I realise that no one is injecting much personality into this.Two anxiety-filled days later and I am in, I hold a strong position between “Beautiful” and “Hmmm… Maybe good-looking people don’t need to be interesting.I opt for Taylor Swift, Michael Jackson and Queen, and as I click OK I am slightly concerned that I am about to be introduced to slightly effeminate version of my dad. The matches were plentiful and the crowd reasonably normal so I struck up a few conversations and finally agreed to meet a Queen fan with a kind looking face (hereafter referred to as Freddie). As I walked towards the pub I felt nervous, this suddenly didn’t feel like such a good idea.

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Momentum gains with a guy, a chiselled beefcake who grew up in my area (hereafter referred to as Beefy). In anticipation of my evening of basking in our mutual beauty, I Google the app to see if I can benefit from the wisdom of users before me. There was no denying he was attractive, in true Ronseal fashion “Beautiful People” has done what it says on the tin.

My research uncovers rumours of women’s profiles being deleted for gaining weight. I didn’t know if he was uneasy but he couldn’t make eye contact with me.

But alongside the uprising of the “swipe right” apps came a number of lesser publicised niche dating sites designed to aid very specific groups of people in their quest for love.

Could a mutual wheat intolerance be enough to ignite romance?

Successful applicants are asked to state their annual income.

I swallow back the small amount of vomit that comes into the back of my throat and I join the hoards of young attractive women with “undisclosed” incomes.The men on Luxy may (or may not) be millionaires but unfortunately money doesn’t buy manners or good grammar.Messages from one gentlemen include: “What r I looking for X”, “Money X”, “I am urs X”.His eyes darted nervously between my face and over my right shoulder.I decided it was endearing and attempted to ease him in gently with work-based small talk but he was really struggling to hold a full conversation. Unimpressed I soldiered on but this time with football-related chat. When the final whistle blew and I had his full attention, he was charming.Not even half way and the fatigue is starting to kick-in.