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I still went out as much as before, but instead of getting drunk I would just stick to 4 pints.
I would just get out of the bath when most relaxed, lie on the bed and just put on a C.
D or headphones and drift in and out with the soothing music and would feel so refreshed afterwards, I still do it to this day.
All this mental planning was constant and it could be a simple trip out with friends or going round to a family gathering, I was obsessed how I as coming across and how things were going, then filling myself with negative thoughts about how bad my life was and how it was not fair that others could enjoy themselves and not me, more thoughts on how to fix it, my mind just never switched off.
How I over came this was to say to myself that this was the last time I went over something that had happened and the last time I planned for something that was up and coming and more than that I would not entertain another negative thought.
I would then wake up with a smile on my face and just face the day whatever may come, no planning, no safety behaviours, no negative thinking about my situation, no going over something that someone did or said or how a situation went.
I am not saying from that day on everything was brilliant, it was not, but it was far, far better.
Other things I did I always tried to stay positive and just when anxiety was just about to control what I did or did not do I would say ‘You have had enough of my life you are not having anymore’.
I also got into meditation a little, maybe just 3 times a week for half an hour.
I should though be around on the blog more as things have calmed a little and it starts with todays post.
A mind that never seems to switch off I know a lot struggle with an over active mind and wonder how to calm it.
When we are anxious then our body works over time and the reason we may sweat or feel restless and unable to sit still, with this comes an over active mind that seems to start on one subject then jump to another with little rhyme or reason.