Since it is nearly impossible that your spouse will measure up in all areas—and since human beings have a strong tendency to focus on what they don’t have at any given time—such comparisons cant do you or your relationship any good.

A friend of mine was teaching about this concept when a man (whose wife I assume was not present) volunteered the following delightful comment: “I know what you mean.

Understandably, this strikes some people as extreme.

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And, like Super Glue, it must be handled very carefully, or it will end up sticking things together that would be better off not stuck.

Touching another person (in Hebrew, negiah), as casually as its regarded in many circles, is far more powerful than most of us appreciate.

Traditional Judaism, always an astute observer of the human scene, stipulates that men and women who are not close relatives should exercise extreme caution and sensitivity in expressing affection for one another through touch.

In short, Judaism says, Unless you’re close relatives or married to each other, don’t.

I’ve been married for two years and I really love my wife, but even in our most intimate moments, I can’t help thinking of my previous girlfriend.” Memories of previous relationships have an uncanny way of surfacing when you least want them to, even years after they occur. When you succeed in a relationship, your positive feelings about life are strengthened.

But every time you get hit over the head emotionally, feelings of negativity and futility develop.

But it can also create illusory feelings of intimacy and make you feel close to a person even when you are not really so close after all, creating many serious problems. Touch is powerful enough to blur reality to the point where it seems that the closeness you feel is real.

Once this happens, that all-too-familiar rose-colored cloud descends, enveloping everything in warm and glowing feelings of intimacy.

Many marriages fail quickly because the match was wrong to begin with, but the couple had become too enraptured with each other to notice it.