Typically men (especially white men) have a much easier time finding potential partners in Japan – so I geared this post specifically for women looking for a male partner in Japan.

Japanese adult meeting up-46

If you want to make some money on the side, not worry about putting yourself out there, and meet Japanese men, teaching private English lessons is the job for you.

Many people do private English lessons in Japan (especially in college/if they’re young). Most are just meeting up with the “student” (businessman, housewife, teenager, etc) and talk for an hour and talk in English. A lot of my friends used the website Hello Sensei (you make a profile, list your price, etc, and students contact you directly).

The Hachiko exit in Shibuya is one of the iconic meeting places in Japan. People kind of just hang out around the crossing, the dog statue, and the green train (Hachiko was the dog that waiting for his owner for years at this train station, even though the owner passed away at work – and never came home. Most of the people who come up to talk to you are trying to sell you something/pass out a sample, but I’ve seen some pretty successful nanpa-ing happen at the Hachiko exit.

In my year and a half in Tokyo, most of my “nanpa” attempts (when a Japanese man tries to ‘pick up’ a woman) happened in train stations.

I also know a couple that met at random on the train, started talking, hit it off, and are still together, two years later. If you don’t mind dating and/or ‘going steady’ with a Japanese man who is married, you shouldn’t have any problems. I wouldn’t do it (personally), but I have a number of friends who have.

To increase the chances of being “nanpa-ed,” make lots of eye contact and smile. Take a train together rather than a cab, so you know where you’re going (if you’re going back to his place). A Hobby Circle or Club A hobby circle is basically a club of people with similar interests.

If you are going to be with someone outside of the country it takes a lot of heart, if you’re only looking for a “Japanese boyfriend” then you aren’t going to find someone you love.

Instead, you might find a thing you wanted, break their heart, and discard it because it wasn’t the wonderful easy fantasy that you hoped it would be.

The fact of the matter is, when you date in another country, it can be difficult to find a partner.