but because he’s never managed to actually penetrate a woman, he’s still obsessed with “childish” things.Meanwhile, we live in a culture that glorifies male sexual conquests even as it pathologizes male sexuality.Men are under as a rite of passage to adulthood is a deeply entrenched one; thus, men carry around the idea that you are still just a boy until you’ve managed to actually ejaculate into another person’s vagina, no matter how old you may be equates virginity with childhood.

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To be a virgin is no different, ultimately, from never having eaten Chinese food or having been to Disneyland.

In fact, you could reasonably equate the two; more often than not, you wait for too damn long for a thrill that’s over in under 3 minutes and half the time you’re wondering what the big deal was.

A virgin, therefore, is the ultimate expression of virtue and goodness (and thus priceless) and any woman who has an excessive number of sex partners (for a suitably subjective value of “excessive”) is degraded.

(Which admittedly brings up the question of just who these studs are supposed to be racking up all these lays with, but that’s a matter for another time.) Even in this day and age when women are closer to social and sexual equity than they have ever been before, the double-standard still exists; the ultimate insults to label a woman are “slut” and “prude”.

There is no difference between a person who has had sex and someone who hasn’t.

Even a woman’s hymen is no demarcator of virginity; many will rupture their hymen long before they’ve had penetrative vaginal intercourse.

I can’t count the number of letters I’ve gotten from virgin readers, men and women of just about every age who have not had sex yet and are desperately afraid that they’re “too late”.

Some may have had physical intercourse with another person – oral sex, mutual masturbation, possibly even anal sex – but consider themselves virgins because they’ve never had penile/vaginal sex.

Some may become bitter and resentful, feeling as though they’re being cheated of something that they’re rightfully “owed”.

Others will have their pre-existing approach anxiety ramped up to near pathological levels, leaving them with anxiety attacks and a crippling shyness around people they’re attracted to.

It won’t magically give you confidence that you didn’t have before, it won’t change how you think or make you empirically more or less attractive.