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Many immigrant parents tend to disregard the fact that their children are raised in the West, and will, ultimately have some elements of their personality influenced by the West.
The evolving identity of Muslims in this country further contributes to the marriage crisis. Is this preference due to the fact that they feel culture, ethnicity, and religion would be better preserved this way? Cultural baggage from immigrant parents is a constant problem in many of the communities, but many are optimistic that the tide is changing.
“I know sisters who have started dating because they cannot take being single anymore,” said Sr.
Denise*, a divorced mother of two boys from College Park, MD, attending the ISWA matrimonial brunch.
“Now, it became a taboo for a Muslimah to say ‘I want to get married’,” says Denise*. Women are being told that they are desperate, weak, and can’t control themselves.” The delaying of the American adolescence experience or the new emerging adulthood stage has also contributed to the delay in marriage, especially, with the high school experience extended by local community colleges.
According to the New York Times, in 1960, 77 percent of women and 65 percent of men had, by the time they reached 30, passed all five [what sociologists term as] milestones of adulthood: completing school, leaving home, becoming financially independent, marrying and having a child.
Nawaz Khan*, in his 70s, has coffee with his wife in the lobby of the Walter E. He is in tears, worried about his very well-educated daughter’s prospects of finding a husband. He is amongst the many worried parents at the ISNA convention.
At any Muslim marriage event, there are more females attendees than males.
Shuyookh with large social media following often bring up the topic on their timelines.
“We are modeling for our community the lack of marriages, single families and broken homes, that good practicing sisters may never get married.
This is very damaging to the psyche of the sisters in the community.