Buying insurance turned out to be the smarter spending strategy.So when a purchase is necessary or can save you more money in the long run, lay out that argument as Monica did.

Start the discussion when stress levels are low, advises Lombardo. Try: "It would help me if you handle these three things each week without me asking." Also, adds Lombardo, point out what's in it for him: a happier, more energetic wife.

Just know, however, that sometimes you will have to make requests if he forgets.

While constantly arguing with your husband doesn't make for a happy marriage, your relationship can suffer as badly if you hold back feelings until you finally explode.

"We go from being passive to being aggressive, when it's optimal to be assertive," says Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph D, author of The fight: "You're too obsessed with your phone/i Pad." After a long day, you want to catch up with your husband—not compete with Angry Birds or whoever's texting him for his attention.

Or the next time his mom criticizes your parenting in front of the whole family, he'll speak to her about it privately.

The fight: "You're constantly complaining."Everyone has the occasional bad day, but if your ranting hubby is frequently sucking the joy out of your time together, get his complaining in check.

It could be as innocent as him giving your son a few extra minutes playing his video game (after you've told him to power down), but if done repeatedly, the kids will catch on.

Try: "Our children know they can get away with stuff. Put it out there that if one of you makes a decision, the other parent must uphold it.

That's what *Michelle from Oregon had to do after her husband groused about little things on a family trip, like stepping off the airport security line so their son could finish a drink he couldn't take to the gate.

Michelle confronted him about the behavior, and they both acknowledged that he was struggling with separating his intense business trips from laid-back getaways.

While you shouldn't waste energy on money spent or saved in the past, make a rule for the future, advises Puhn.