She is also a Colorado state coordinator for Postpartum Support International.Kate lives in Boulder with her husband and two daughters and writes an eponymous blog.En español | Losing a husband or wife is a devastating experience that many of us will have to face.

Here is what we know: I give these statistics not to scare you, but because it is important for those mothers who have lost their children to know that they are not alone; to know that there are many others out there who are needing to navigate this loss too.

I have worked with countless women in my office as they try to manage the unfamiliar emotions that surround loss, and I have learned a great deal from these phenomenal moms.

Over time, those swings diminish in both frequency and intensity until we reach a level of emotional adjustment. One of the most important new findings has shown that for most of us, grief is a severe — but self-limiting — condition, not a permanent state.

In one study of older men and women who had lost spouses, George A.

If we were to diagram those stages, the emotional trajectory would look something like a large capital W, with two major low points signifying anger or depression, and the top of the last upward leg of the W signifying acceptance.

But when psychologist Toni Bisconti of the University of Akron asked recent widows to fill out daily questionnaires for three months, vast fluctuations occurred from one day to the next.

According to a 2008 survey, most grief seems to go away on its own.

Counseling can be helpful, however, for people whose grief has already lasted a long time and who are likely suffering from a condition called "complicated grief." Humor can heal.

A widow might feel anxious and blue one day, only to feel lighthearted and cheerful the next.