Maybe you learn to stay up later and socialize, drink more often, or change the style of the clothes you wear.Or maybe you stand up to your boss, listen to different music, or change your sense of humor.

His love posed no challenge — his biggest dreams were to snag a nice house, where I’d stay an art director while he taught PE in an elementary school. I don’t need to date them to become a better woman.

I can just observe their risk taking skills or the shadow aspects I’d like to play with and practice them on my own.

Here are a few reasons why dating this type is no longer part of my life, and why I suggest we all issue bad boys/girls a massive time-out.

Sure, it can be exciting to date this type of person.

In my own shadow side, I learned the power to speak up and how to tell someone to fuck off — and enjoy zero guilt in really meaning it.

There’s a confidence your shadow side has, that you don’t often get to play with in the safe confines of someone that holds no opposition to you (a good boy.) And for a temporary spell, this development is really fun to unbox. The one that really, really likes setting up impossible goals and innovative challenges for myself.

And so begins the end of your relationship, which I’m pretty sure is the part we actually came for.

The part where you meet the height of a transformation you’ve been looking for all along.

A nice, law abiding man that will make your parents and friends proud and worry less for your emotional wellbeing?

Problem is — I have a bit of a crazy tick in my head.

In fact, the whole reason you got into the relationship, aside from pheromones and oxytocin, probably flirted with one of these three common reasons below: You Probably Just Wanted To Learn How Take More Risks Bad boys tend not to be risk averse; time and time again you watch them push the boundaries of what you thought was possible.