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Obviously, my friends were looking to get laid -- what else could they possibly want with women like that? Under no real-world circumstance would a woman this gorgeous, this successful, and this hilarious spend the majority of her time with such a sad group of misfits. Cameron Diaz tends to play a likable, spontaneous, easy-to-date woman on screen.
The answer was easy, and it was the same every time, regardless of which one of my friends it was. Hell, even in still photos of her, she seems carefree. She can hang with the guys but is still secure enough to spend lots of time apart when asked.
In the real world, Cameron Diaz was thirty-three and had been bouncing from man to man while gossip magazines ruminated on whether or not she'd ever get married.
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Before Henry, I'd dated plenty of men, and I'd rarely initiated contact. Online, I may not be as immediately competitive as Eagles Fan32B, but that was simply because I wasn't going to upload a photo of myself standing on the beach in a bikini. Were they agreeable, nonspecific, perpetually cheery? It occurred to me that I'd actually had this conversation before, more than a dozen times. , she played the cheery, optimistic, girl-next-door-who's-also-a-model archetype desired by men everywhere.
When a male friend would introduce me to a Hottie DC or a Happy1979, I'd politely chat with her for a few minutes and then immediately find a way to escape the tedious, tired small talk. She loved football and was so egregiously nice she got duped into dating an Australian con man and a psychopath with a skin condition.
Also -- importantly --she's thin, blond, and always showing skin.
The problem, of course, is that Cameron Diaz is a movie star playing a well-honed type of character.
He was the most popular kid in school and held the usual credentials: tall, muscular, good-looking, captain of the football team.
Somehow I used to think that if I stared at his head and sent all of my adolescent energy his way, that he'd eventually turn around, smile back at me, and ask me to the prom.
I started to put what I'd seen into an equation and to work backward, assessing all of the variables.
I may not be a short, Popsicle-stick woman with huge boobs, but I also wasn't unattractive.
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